WARNING: for those humans who are non-meat-eating-psycho-bananas you will definitely not want to scroll any further!!!
And, my goodness, not that you're not welcome, but you may be not on the right site; here in the Ozarks - pure vegetarians are a rare breed indeed.
We enjoy our farm-raised animals and wholly savour our woods' bounties of turkey, deer, rabbit, dove, etc. not to mention the creeks, rivers, ponds, and lakes that supply buttery perch, firm fresh bass, and trout for panfrying on the riverbank.
Just know that here, on this blog, you will find photos of these creatures, eventually, inevitably even, in all stages of preparation - admiring in a nature setting as an inhabitant amongst us, showing off a deer or turkey or fish freshly killed, raw waiting for food prep, and finally, gorgeously prepared and mouth-watering-ly displayed for devouring. We like our food. We are omnivores and we believe firmly in that.
Here in the Ozarks we were never so far removed from food preparation that we don't know how to pick wild strawberries and blackberries and all of us have seen animals slaughtered for eating. Some were ones we raised ourselves. And I don't know a hunter that hasn't commented on how beautiful a deer's eyes are. We don't massacre these creatures. We hunt them and we eat them.
ANOTHER WARNING: for those who freak at the sight of raw meat (in this case, fresh ground chuck) - first you should work on that with some conditioning exercises (buy it - get close to it - touch it - eventually prepare it - your reward is eating it!) and may want to at least squint your eyes to blur the contents below before scrolling further.
OKAY. Those of you who have hung in there with no hesitation... That shot's for you. Perfectly seasoned CHUCK! Fat is flavor, my peeps. Here's my tricks and we hope you enjoy them thoroughly, add them to your repertoire, and send me some of your own!
1. Be gentle. It's like biscuits, folks. You can overwork the gluten in biscuits, you can overwork the connective tissue in beef. Its a fact. It will be tough as nails. Rubber-band balls.
2. FRESH CHUCK. Here's what we do - use your best meat guy that grounds it fresh at least daily. OUR local grocer grounds it on the hour. No kidding. If you request ground fresh, sometimes you can bat yer' lashes and be a return customer and they'll do it happily while you wait. Very important. Must be chuck, folks.
3. Start bringing the meat to room temperature. Don't mix this all together till you get all your ingredients in. This will help on the overworking front. To one pound (1 #) ground chuck, pour in 2 Tablespoons water. Don't laugh. Just try it. Then sprinkle in 2 Tablespoons Worcestershire. Even if you don't like it. Or someyackass you know doesn't like it. They'll never KNOW trust me on this one. Then hit it with salt, pepper, and some garlic powder. And be generous. Fold and poke gently until combined well.
Now, this recipe is for BEEF lovers. If you've got just "burger" or "grill" people, you may want to use a mix of something in the beef, such as a favorite grill or steak seasoning, or a Cajun seasoning blend mixed throughout (don't ever make your patties and THEN season, people, that's a joke). Play around sometime with brushing a marinade during grilling - that's good for a little something different sometimes. My girlfriend just turned me onto this Dale's seasoning. Its great! She grilled chicken breasts that she had marinated for several hours. DEEELIIIIIISSSSHH. http://www.dalesseasoning.com/
OR do what my cattle rancher father does: FOLKS THIS IS THE SECRET. This is my father's "Holy Trinity". He cooks everything with it - and gets HOSTILE if I try ribs or kebobs or GREEN BEANS without it. Wowza.
This is huge. This is my Dad's trick to lots o' good stuff. Lawry's seasoned salt, McCormick's garlic powder, McCormick's COARSE GROUND black pepper. To taste. Perfect pop for food.
4. Then, make your big-butt patties and... while the grill is getting to HIGH heat, the hottest you can get it, bring the burger patties all the way to room temp. It's not going to cook RIGHT if you don't. Meanwhile, prep and set out the goodies...get 'em ready. Caramelize onions, saute mushrooms, fry bacon, bring Cheddar/Swiss/American/blue cheese to room temp. Slice tomatoes, lettuce, fresh red onions. Get your chips and sides and condiments because these puppies shouldn't have to wait on anything when they're ready!
Last night we made Mushroom bacon Swiss burgers! Ummm........
5. BUTTER the buns. They'll be toasted lastly on the grill. While the burgers are resting. With the cheese AND the onions and mushrooms. JUICES MIXING. G o o o d.
6. Okay. Grill should be, say, seventh layer of hell hot, then it's good to go. HOT. hot. hot. Get your clean serving tray and your favorite grillin' spatula. No distractions, plenty of light (as I learned last night - artificial light and my camera don't mix for blogging). Use your hot spots of the grill for the well-done crowd, and reserve the cooler spots (but still direct heat - very important - everyone likes a good sear) for the rare souls. Put your burgers on and CLOSE THE LID. Rare - 3-5, flip, 3-5. Well-done - 5-7, flip, 5-7. This is approximate and works for our grill, especially if the well-dones' were place in the hot spots. On my Dad's gas Weber, it takes a bit longer. Grill till DEEELISH and then move to clean tray. Place toppings on (except bacon, which gets kinda wilty) and tent lightly with foil. IMPORTANT. Toast the butter buns lightly and when the burgers have rested 5 full minutes, tear into them. AAAAAhhhhh. Carnivore heaven. These are so juicy.
GOOD POINTERS.
Don't flip but once. If you can help it.
Don't squish or press on the burgers. It doesn't help them in any way. Promise.
Don't leave the lid open, they don't cook evenly. Wind or air maybe?
And the pics? I'm so sorry THEY DIDN'T SHOW UP BECAUSE IT WAS TOOOOOO DARK... and kinda rainy. We were "grillers in the mist". Hah. Heard that awhile back and its still funny. Anyhoo, soon peeps, I'll figure this camera out. Promise. But meanwhile, I'm just keepin' ya posted!
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